最近中文字幕高清字幕免费mv,最新国产精品自在线观看,中文字幕乱码永久免费,中文字幕一区在线观看视频,中文精品久久久久国产网址

導(dǎo)讀：背景知識(shí)騎士精神規(guī)定，在“約會(huì)”中，男方應(yīng)該付錢，而平等主義理念則認(rèn)為性別不應(yīng)該決定誰(shuí)來(lái)付錢。我們研究了人們?cè)诙啻蟪潭壬辖邮芑蚓芙^這些相互競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的觀念。未婚異性戀參與者（N = 17,607）在NBCNews.com上發(fā)布的調(diào)查中報(bào)告了他們對(duì)于誰(shuí)應(yīng)該支付約

本文由煙臺(tái)英孚英語(yǔ)培訓(xùn)中心整理發(fā)布，歡迎聯(lián)系預(yù)約試聽(tīng)

背景知識(shí)

版權(quán)聲明：本文僅供參考學(xué)習(xí)，內(nèi)容來(lái)源于網(wǎng)絡(luò)，版權(quán)歸原作者所有。如有侵權(quán)，請(qǐng)及時(shí)聯(lián)系我們。

Young people tend to lean more liberal on a range of issues pertaining to relationship norms. But when it comes to dating, the idea that men should pay still prevails in heterosexual courtship.

年輕人在涉及戀愛(ài)規(guī)范的一系列問(wèn)題上往往更傾向于自由派。但當(dāng)談到約會(huì)時(shí)，男人應(yīng)該買單的觀念在異性求愛(ài)中仍然占主導(dǎo)地位。

During a recent dinner at a cozy bar in Upper Manhattan, I was confronted with an age-old question about gender norms. Over bowls of ramen and sips of gin cocktails, my date and I got into a debate: Who should pay for dates?

最近在曼哈頓上城一家溫馨的酒吧共進(jìn)晚餐時(shí)，我遇到了一個(gè)關(guān)于性別規(guī)范的老問(wèn)題。在吃拉面和啜飲金酒雞尾酒的時(shí)候，我和約會(huì)對(duì)象展開(kāi)了一場(chǎng)辯論：約會(huì)應(yīng)該由誰(shuí)來(lái)買單？

My date, a 27-year-old woman I matched with on Hinge, said gender equality didn’t mean men and women should pay the same when they went out. Women, she said, earn less than men in the workplace, spend more time getting ready for outings and pay more for reproductive care.

我的約會(huì)對(duì)象是一位27歲的女性，我們?cè)贖inge上配對(duì)認(rèn)識(shí)的。她說(shuō)性別平等并不意味著男女在外出時(shí)應(yīng)該付相同的錢。她說(shuō)，女性在職場(chǎng)上的收入比男性少，為外出做準(zhǔn)備花費(fèi)的時(shí)間更多，而且為生殖保健支付的費(fèi)用也更多。

When the date ended, we split the bill. But our discussion was emblematic of a tension in modern dating. At work and on social media, where young people spend much of their personal time, they like to emphasize equity and equality. When it comes to romance and courtship, young people — specifically women and men in heterosexual relationships — seem to be following the same dating rules their parents and older generations grew up learning.

約會(huì)結(jié)束時(shí)，我們分?jǐn)偭速~單。但我們的討論象征著現(xiàn)代約會(huì)中的緊張關(guān)系。在工作和社交媒體上，年輕人喜歡強(qiáng)調(diào)公平和平等，他們大部分的個(gè)人時(shí)間都花在這些地方。但當(dāng)涉及到浪漫和求愛(ài)時(shí)，年輕人——特別是異性戀關(guān)系中的女性和男性——似乎遵循著他們父母和老一輩人成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中學(xué)到的相同的約會(huì)規(guī)則。

Contemporary research, popular culture and conversations I had with more than a dozen young Americans suggest that a longstanding norm still holds true: Men tend to foot the bill more than women do on dates. And there seems to be an expectation that they should.

當(dāng)代研究、流行文化以及我和十幾位美國(guó)年輕人的對(duì)話表明，一個(gè)長(zhǎng)期存在的規(guī)范仍然成立：在約會(huì)時(shí)，男性往往比女性支付更多的費(fèi)用。而且似乎有一種期待，他們應(yīng)該這樣做。

The ‘Paying for the First Date’ Dance 

“第一次約會(huì)誰(shuí)來(lái)買單”

Some progressive defenders of the norm cite the persistent gender wage gap, and the fact that women pay more for reproductive products and apparel than men and that they spend more time preparing for dates to comport with societal norms. 

一些進(jìn)步的規(guī)范捍衛(wèi)者引用了持續(xù)存在的性別工資差距，以及女性在生育產(chǎn)品和服裝上比男性花費(fèi)更多，以及她們?yōu)榱朔仙鐣?huì)規(guī)范而在約會(huì)前花費(fèi)更多時(shí)間準(zhǔn)備的事實(shí)。

Kala Lundahl lives in New York City and works at a recruiting firm. She typically matches with people for dates through apps like Hinge, with the total cost of the date, usually over drinks, coming to around $80. On the first date, Ms. Lundahl, 24, always offers to split the check but expects the man to pay — and has encountered resistance when she offers to pay. 

卡拉·倫達(dá)爾住在紐約市，在一家招聘公司工作。她通常通過(guò)像Hinge這樣的應(yīng)用程序與人約會(huì)，約會(huì)的總費(fèi)用，通常包括飲料，大約是80美元。在第一次約會(huì)時(shí)，24歲的倫達(dá)爾女士總是提出要分?jǐn)傎~單，但她期望男方付款——當(dāng)她提出付款時(shí)，她遇到了阻力。

Ms. Lundahl said that if the date was going well, they might continue on to a second location, usually a cheaper place where she was more likely to pay. On a second date, she said, she would be more insistent on paying the entire check, or splitting it. Ms. Lundahl’s reasoning comes from her belief that the person who did the asking out — usually the man — should pay for the date, and that the person who made more money — also usually the man — should cough up. 

倫達(dá)爾女士說(shuō)，如果約會(huì)進(jìn)展順利，他們可能會(huì)繼續(xù)前往第二個(gè)地點(diǎn)，通常是一個(gè)更便宜的地方，她更有可能在那里付款。在第二次約會(huì)時(shí)，她說(shuō)，她會(huì)更堅(jiān)持付整個(gè)賬單，或者分?jǐn)傎~單。倫達(dá)爾女士的理由來(lái)自于她的信念，即通常邀請(qǐng)對(duì)方出去的人——通常是男性——應(yīng)該為約會(huì)買單，而通常收入更高的人——也是男性——應(yīng)該掏錢。

“A couple of guys get a little stiff when I offer to pay,” Ms. Lundahl said. “You can tell they’re not comfortable with that idea.”

“當(dāng)我提出付款時(shí)，有幾個(gè)男人會(huì)有點(diǎn)僵硬，”倫達(dá)爾女士說(shuō)。“你可以看出他們對(duì)這個(gè)想法感到不舒服。”

Scott Bowen, a 24-year-old accountant in Charlotte, N.C., said he always paid for drinks, meals and coffees on dates. Usually, that winds up being $70 to $100 per outing. The conversation over who pays usually lasts a split second — from the time the waiter sets down the check to when Mr. Bowen reaches over and says, “I’ll grab that,” he said.

斯科特·鮑文是北卡羅來(lái)納州夏洛特市的一名24歲會(huì)計(jì)師，他在約會(huì)時(shí)總是支付飲料、餐食和咖啡的費(fèi)用。通常，每次約會(huì)的花費(fèi)在70到100美元之間。鮑文先生說(shuō)，關(guān)于誰(shuí)付款的對(duì)話通常只持續(xù)一秒鐘——從服務(wù)員放下賬單到他伸手說(shuō)“我來(lái)付”的時(shí)候。

When Mr. Bowen was growing up, his parents made it clear to him that he should pay for dates when taking a woman out. He acknowledged that he wanted to see the status quo changed to be more of an even split, yet he said he was uncomfortable bringing up the subject at all during dates: Our conversation was one of the rare times he had spoken about the issue with another person. 

鮑文先生在成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中，他的父母明確告訴他，帶女性出去約會(huì)時(shí)應(yīng)該由他來(lái)付款。他承認(rèn)他希望看到現(xiàn)狀有所改變，更傾向于平均分?jǐn)?，但他說(shuō)自己在約會(huì)期間提起這個(gè)話題感到不舒服：我們的對(duì)話是他很少與他人討論這個(gè)問(wèn)題的幾次之一。

In L.G.B.T.Q. relationships, who pays for dates has less to do with gender norms and more with specific relationship dynamics.

在L.G.B.T.Q.關(guān)系中，誰(shuí)為約會(huì)買單與性別規(guī)范關(guān)系較小，而與特定的關(guān)系動(dòng)態(tài)關(guān)系更大。

Brendan Foley, a government worker in Washington, D.C., said that in his experience dating men, the check was usually split. When one person paid, it was often the older man, or the person who was understood to make more money. But the discussion of money during dates doesn’t bother him. 

在華盛頓特區(qū)工作的政府工作人員布倫丹·福利說(shuō)，在他與男性約會(huì)的經(jīng)驗(yàn)中，賬單通常被分?jǐn)?。?dāng)一個(gè)人付款時(shí)，通常是年長(zhǎng)的男性，或者是被認(rèn)為收入更高的人。但福利先生說(shuō)，約會(huì)期間討論金錢并不困擾他。

“I think there are more honest and straightforward conversations than the dance in straight relationships,” Mr. Foley, 24, said.

“我認(rèn)為，與異性戀關(guān)系中的舞蹈相比，有更多誠(chéng)實(shí)和直接的對(duì)話，”24歲的福利先生說(shuō)。

The Persistent Tradition of Men Paying

男性買單的傳統(tǒng)持續(xù)存在

Shanhong Luo, a professor at Fayetteville State University, studies the factors behind attraction between romantic partners, including the norms that govern relationships. In a paper published in 2023 in Psychological Reports, a peer-reviewed journal, Dr. Luo and a team of researchers surveyed 552 heterosexual college students in Wilmington, N.C., and asked them whether they expected men or women to pay for dates — and whether they, as a man or a woman, typically paid more.

費(fèi)耶特維爾州立大學(xué)的教授Shanhong Luo研究了浪漫伴侶之間的吸引力背后的因素，包括管理戀愛(ài)關(guān)系的規(guī)范。在2023年發(fā)表于同行評(píng)審期刊《心理學(xué)報(bào)告》的一篇論文中，Luo博士和一組研究人員調(diào)查了北卡羅來(lái)納州威爾明頓的552名異性戀大學(xué)生，詢問(wèn)他們是否期望男性或女性支付約會(huì)費(fèi)用——以及作為男性或女性，他們通常支付更多。

The researchers found that young men paid for all or most of the dates around 90 percent of the time, while women paid only about 2 percent (they split around 8 percent of the time). On subsequent dates, splitting the check was more common, though men still paid a majority of the time while women rarely did. Nearly 80 percent of men expected that they would pay on the first date, while just over half of women (55 percent) expected men to pay.

研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，年輕男性大約90%的時(shí)間支付全部或大部分約會(huì)費(fèi)用，而女性僅支付約2%（他們分?jǐn)偧s8%的時(shí)間）。在隨后的約會(huì)中，分?jǐn)傎~單更為常見(jiàn)，盡管男性仍然大部分時(shí)間支付，而女性很少這樣做。近80%的男性期望他們?cè)诘谝淮渭s會(huì)時(shí)支付，而略超過(guò)一半的女性（55%）期望男性支付。

Surprisingly, views on gender norms didn’t make much of a difference: On average, both men and women in the sample expected the man to pay, whether they had more traditional views of gender roles or more progressive ones.

令人驚訝的是，對(duì)性別規(guī)范的看法并沒(méi)有太大差異：平均而言，樣本中的男性和女性都期望男性支付，無(wú)論他們對(duì)性別角色持有更傳統(tǒng)的看法還是更進(jìn)步的看法。

“The findings strongly showed that the traditional pattern is still there,” Dr. Luo said.

“研究結(jié)果強(qiáng)烈表明，傳統(tǒng)模式仍然存在，”Luo博士說(shuō)。

The persistent tradition of men paying for women might seem like a harmless artifact. But in a relationship, such acts don’t exist in a vacuum.

男性為女性支付費(fèi)用的傳統(tǒng)可能看起來(lái)像是一個(gè)無(wú)害的遺物。但在戀愛(ài)關(guān)系中，這樣的行為并不是孤立存在的。

Psychologists differentiate between two forms of sexism: “hostile sexism,” defined by beliefs like women are inferior to men, and “benevolent sexism,” defined by beliefs like it is men’s duty to protect women. But the latter can give way to the former. 

心理學(xué)家區(qū)分了兩種形式的性別歧視：“敵對(duì)性別歧視”，定義為認(rèn)為女性不如男性的信念，以及“仁慈性別歧視”，定義為認(rèn)為保護(hù)女性是男性的責(zé)任。但后者可能演變?yōu)榍罢摺?/span>

“The notion of chivalry is couched in very positive terms,” said Campbell Leaper, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz. “But over time, if people are stuck in these roles, that comes at a cost.” 

“騎士精神的概念被包裹在非常積極的術(shù)語(yǔ)中，”加州大學(xué)圣克魯斯分校的心理學(xué)教授Campbell Leaper說(shuō)。“但隨著時(shí)間的推移，如果人們陷入這些角色，那將付出代價(jià)。”

In a 2016 study, Dr. Leaper and his co-author, Alexa Paynter, surveyed undergraduate students in California, asking them how they rated a number of traditional courtship gestures, including men paying for dates. A majority of both young men and women said men should pay for dates, but for men, the association between that view and more hostile views toward women was particularly strong. 

在2016年的一項(xiàng)研究中，Leaper博士和他的合著者Alexa Paynter調(diào)查了加利福尼亞的大學(xué)生，詢問(wèn)他們?nèi)绾卧u(píng)價(jià)包括男性支付約會(huì)費(fèi)用在內(nèi)的許多傳統(tǒng)求愛(ài)手勢(shì)。大多數(shù)年輕男性和女性表示男性應(yīng)該支付約會(huì)費(fèi)用，但對(duì)于男性來(lái)說(shuō)，這種觀點(diǎn)與對(duì)女性更具敵意的觀點(diǎn)之間的關(guān)聯(lián)尤其強(qiáng)烈。

Dr. Leaper, who has been teaching a class on gender development for more than 30 years, said his students today were more liberal on a range of issues pertaining to gender identity, sexuality and norms governing relationships. But his students often defend the principle behind men paying for dates, or say they hadn’t even thought how it was connected to sexism. 

Leaper博士教授性別發(fā)展課程已有30多年，他說(shuō)他的學(xué)生在涉及性別認(rèn)同、性取向和戀愛(ài)規(guī)范的一系列問(wèn)題上更加自由。但他的學(xué)生經(jīng)常捍衛(wèi)男性支付約會(huì)費(fèi)用的原則，或者說(shuō)他們甚至沒(méi)有想過(guò)這與性別歧視是如何聯(lián)系在一起的。

“That’s kind of surprising to them, and something they haven’t really thought about before,” Dr. Leaper said.   

“這對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)有點(diǎn)驚訝，是他們以前沒(méi)有真正考慮過(guò)的事情，”Leaper博士說(shuō)。

Part of the reason the norm may persist in young people is that dates are inherently awkward, Dr. Luo said. Even for young people who may hold a steadfast commitment to financial independence — whether a man or a woman — the pressure of an age-old norm may kick in. 

Luo博士說(shuō)，這種規(guī)范可能在年輕人中持續(xù)存在的原因之一是約會(huì)本質(zhì)上是尷尬的。即使是對(duì)于那些可能堅(jiān)定地致力于經(jīng)濟(jì)獨(dú)立的年輕人——無(wú)論是男性還是女性——古老的規(guī)范的壓力可能會(huì)發(fā)揮作用。

“Regardless of what you believe in, you’ll do what the norm says you do,” Dr. Luo said.

“不管你相信什么，你會(huì)做規(guī)范告訴你做的事情，”Luo博士說(shuō)。

Easier as Relationships Deepen 

隨著關(guān)系的加深，約會(huì)付款變得更容易

Kent Barnhill said he paid for around 80 percent of the dates he went on, usually with people he had met on dating apps. Mr. Barnhill, 27, identifies as a feminist and is politically progressive, but he said his upbringing in a wealthy, conservative household in South Florida had shaped his practice of insisting on paying for dates, particularly early on in relationships. 

肯特·巴恩希爾表示，他在約會(huì)時(shí)大約支付了80%的費(fèi)用，通常這些約會(huì)對(duì)象是通過(guò)約會(huì)應(yīng)用程序認(rèn)識(shí)的。27歲的巴恩希爾自認(rèn)為是女權(quán)主義者，政治上持進(jìn)步立場(chǎng)，但他在南佛羅里達(dá)州一個(gè)富裕、保守的家庭長(zhǎng)大，這種背景塑造了他堅(jiān)持在約會(huì)時(shí)付款的做法，尤其是在關(guān)系的早期階段。

“On the first date, I always establish beforehand that I want to pay,” said Mr. Barnhill, a data analyst in the Washington, D.C., public school system. “The fact I’m paying more does not bother me.”

“在第一次約會(huì)時(shí)，我總是事先表明我想付款，”巴恩希爾說(shuō)，他是華盛頓特區(qū)公立學(xué)校系統(tǒng)的一名數(shù)據(jù)分析師。“我支付更多并不困擾我。”

Zoe Miller, 23, on the other hand, grew up in a liberal household in Chapel Hill, N.C. One experience on a date in college shaped her insistence on splitting the bill. While her date was in the restroom, a waiter came by and asked Ms. Miller how the two wanted to pay. She said she wanted to split the bill, so the waiter came back with two checks. When Ms. Miller’s date came back, he was furious. He wanted to pay for the date. 

另一方面，23歲的佐伊·米勒在北卡羅來(lái)納州教堂山的一個(gè)自由派家庭長(zhǎng)大。在大學(xué)期間的一次約會(huì)經(jīng)歷，塑造了她堅(jiān)持分?jǐn)傎~單的決心。當(dāng)她的約會(huì)對(duì)象去洗手間時(shí)，服務(wù)員過(guò)來(lái)詢問(wèn)米勒女士他們想要如何付款。她說(shuō)她想分?jǐn)傎~單，于是服務(wù)員回來(lái)時(shí)帶來(lái)了兩份賬單。當(dāng)米勒女士的約會(huì)對(duì)象回來(lái)時(shí)，他非常生氣。他想為約會(huì)買單。

Now, she said, “I absolutely refuse not to split the check.” 

現(xiàn)在，她說(shuō)，“我絕對(duì)拒絕不分?jǐn)傎~單。”

Ms. Miller and Mr. Barnhill started dating after meeting through a mutual friend. The couple recently enjoyed a meal at a fine dining Italian restaurant in the Mount Vernon neighborhood of Washington, and Mr. Barnhill had paid.

米勒女士和巴恩希爾先生是通過(guò)一個(gè)共同的朋友認(rèn)識(shí)的，最近開(kāi)始約會(huì)。這對(duì)情侶最近在華盛頓特區(qū)弗農(nóng)山社區(qū)的一家高級(jí)意大利餐廳享用了一頓美餐，巴恩希爾先生付了賬。

Ms. Miller initially found it hard to swallow when Mr. Barnhill would pay the entire check. But a combination of a difference in incomes — she has had fewer shifts at her job at a smoothie shop — and viewing the gesture as genuine, rather than an expression of power, warmed her to the idea. Since that outing, they’ve tried to split their dates, using the app Splitwise. 

米勒女士最初發(fā)現(xiàn)巴恩希爾先生支付整個(gè)賬單時(shí)感到難以接受。但收入差異——她在一家冰沙店的工作班次較少——以及將這一舉動(dòng)視為真誠(chéng)的表達(dá)，而不是權(quán)力的表現(xiàn)，使她對(duì)這一想法產(chǎn)生了好感。自那次外出以來(lái)，他們嘗試使用Splitwise應(yīng)用程序分?jǐn)偧s會(huì)費(fèi)用。

Once two people make it past the i