雅思口語9分素材大搜集——童年之搞笑的事
小時候，大概6、7歲的時候吧，我掉了一顆牙齒，那是第一次，牙齒也特別小。本來母親非要扔掉的，我哀求半天，那顆牙齒被我保了下來，成了我的玩具。那時候，我有一個怪癖，覺得耳朵是一個很安全的收藏東西的場所，曾往里面藏過黃豆、花生米和小鋼珠之類的。所以，這次，我很順理成章地把那顆牙齒藏在了左耳里。要命的是，我很快忘記了這件事。大概三個星期后，我的左耳失聰，很快被送到了耳科醫(yī)生那。癥結當然很快找到，問題也隨之解決。不過他的話，我還是記得很清楚的：他從小朋友的耳朵鼻子里拔除過很多奇怪的東西，但從來沒有碰到過有牙齒的。
Lesson learned: your ears are not storage compartments!
在搜尋童年搞笑的事的時候，居然看到一個喜歡中國功夫的印度人講他小時候的故事，幾乎就是電影《功夫》中的星的翻版。小小年紀，身體瘦弱，結果家人讓他去練習一些武術，然后他就以為自己是少年Bruce lee or Jack Chan。順理成章，他去挑戰(zhàn)一個老是欺負別人的街頭霸王。過程很血腥，結局很凄慘。
看看，還有一些什么奇葩的趣事吧。（注：標紅處為推薦關注的詞匯或表達）
1. 童年經典梗：西瓜種子會在肚中發(fā)芽生長
One day as I was eating watermelon, I accidentally swallowed its seeds and my grandma told me that now its tree will grow inside my stomach and leaves would come out of my nose and ears. I was really worried, on my way to school I asked everybody I met, whether it was true. To my tragedy many of them said yes. I cried really very hard and was frightened even when my parents told me nothing like that would happen. It was only after they gave me a fake medicine, I stopped crying. After that I never ate watermelon, fearing that it might happen again, until I was 9.
My grandma still makes fun of me for that :)
2.changing my underwear in open
光天化日地不知男女有別
I Was in 2nd standard.
I went to my aunts house..
I was changing my underwear...(in open)
My aunt started teasing me..."shame shame shame..o o o ...shame shame"
I answered innocently
" Please Aunty don't make fun of me....And what’s wrong in it...
It's a body part only...Everyone is having...Don't you have..."
(Every one burst out in laughter and I started crying thinking That everyone is making fun of me)...
Today.I feel ...ohh shit man..!!!...What did I say...And giggle..!!
3. I believed I was as small as a finger when born.
我曾以為我是一個拇指菇涼。
"You know, you were so little when you were born, that i used to carry you around in my pocket. "
My uncle used to tell this to little me when I was 5-6 years old.
I bought the story and was curious about how I used to drink and eat when I was that small.
He told me that they used to pick me up with fingers and make me sit on the edge of a cup and I would sip some tea from the cup, while they watched over for my safety. And then they were feeding me little crumbs of bread.
he told me stories of how he carried me around, in his pocket, saving me from birds and assorted animals who wanted to pick me up.
When he told me that I was only as tall as my finger, I would get annoyed and run to my mother to verify his story. And my mother played along her part well.
At the end of all that, maybe several months later, I figured it out. I remember I coming to him to tell him something like this, " If i were that small when i was born, even you must have been that small too, when you were born. And somebody must have took you around in their pockets and picked you up with their fingers. But you are so big now, that i don't think you were ever that small. And so, even i were never that small". Haha, uncle had no answer for that.
Funeral of the story.
4. 見死不救的熊弟弟
I was 8-9 years old and my brother was around 4...my dad had just bought me a new pretty bicycle and after I learnt how to ride it my brother asked me to take him for a ride...I asked him to open the gate and wait outside and I will get on the bike and come outside and then he can sit behind...I hopped on andn started riding it...somehow lost balance...went outside fast and fell into the sewage gutter in front of the house which was left open for cleaning...I was covered from top to bottom in dirty water and stuff and my bicycle fell on me...my brother, instead of calling my parents for help...was jumping, clapping and shouting..."yay, u fell down!!"...meanwhile people in the street gathered around and pulled me out!
It took 3 showers to free myself off that stench
5. 字寫得差的煩惱
As a child I used to fear Chinese the most , because of so many strokes for each character ).
So my elder cousin was teaching me Chinese one night, scolding me for not getting the handwriting right. Someone knocked the door and he went to entertain who-so-ever was outside.
In the mean time I tore a page from the notebook and wrote a note to him, stating that "I am leaving the house because of your scoldings; don't search for me." And I hid underneath the bed, hoping he'd get all tensed up and start searching for me and that he'd not teach me after this.
After he returned I couldn't see his reaction. After sometime he went out of the room. I sneaked my head out to see where he went. And he returned back the same instant.
I got another bashing for tearing pages from my school notebook and for not writing characters which he had asked me before leaving for the door.
Apparently I had written my note in Chinese in very bad handwriting and he couldn't even read it.
6. the meanest dad
壞到骨子里的老爸
My father told me that the school had put mini CCTV cameras in classrooms, and the live stream was provided to all parents so that they could keep an eye on their children.
He basically convinced me that he was monitoring every move of mine in school.
What's worse is, my dad was a master of reverse psychology. Every time he saw me look even remotely guilty, he'd ask, "Well, why did you do that at school today?" Cleverly, he never specified what 'that' was. I would think, "oh God! He knows!" and would be left with no option but to confess and apologize.
The consequence: Me were scared to spend more than 30 seconds in any one place (even for sharpening pencils!). If it was extremely necessary, I would talk to my classmates in as discreet a manner as possible. I used to be at my best behaviour even during recesses. And when I made slightest mistakes (for example: losing my eraser), I'd feel so guilty, I'd confess to him with tears in my eyes.
Fathers can be mean.
7.童年最經典的騙局
As young kids, my sister and I would love to sleep in on weekends if we could. So even if we actually woke up a bit earlier than usual, we'd lay in bed and pretend to be asleep when our dad came in to wake us up.
Dad would always catch our bluff, though, and tricked us into proving we were in fact awake by saying "Are these kids still really asleep? I would believe it if they shook their legs a little bit." Indeed, being the little suckers we were, we'd fall for it and shake our legs ever so slightly. Each and every time.
How fun for my dad. I never figured out how he knew we were really awake until much later. Such a eureka moment. :D
8. 人小孩與貓媽媽之爭
My grandmother had a ton of feral cats that hung out under her house (the house was on blocks or something so there was an under the house). When I was small, probably around 5 or so, we went to visit and one of the cats had just had kittens so my grandmother had brought her into the house. I was told not to bother her, but it was kittens so I had to go look. As I approached her in her 'bed' with all the itty bitty kittens around her feeding, she hissed at me. Well I wasn't about to take an insult from a cat so I got closer, leaned over, and hissed back. I got a wonderfully deep and long scratch in the middle of my forehead for that.
9.You are an pure evil
I was in grade 4 and we were sitting in the gym for our monthly school assembly. I had to fart really bad. Normally my farts are silent so I didn't think too much about it but this time it was different. I think it might have been due to the way I was sitting with my legs up and crossed together or something but when I let it out it sounded like some little girl was screeching. It lasted forever too.
The gym was dead silent at that time so the whole school could hear it. Everyone turned to me and I was mortified. But thanks to my quick thinking I blamed it on the girl in front of me. The poor girl...
I guess this is more of an embarrassing or evil childhood story
愛思學 - 您的教育規(guī)劃師
名師 icon
班型 icon
服務 icon
環(huán)境 icon
郭肇炎 雅思閱讀名師
